At first impossible. Blinding and shaken. Bracing and faltering. Think mundane thoughts to calm the sickness. Make it all just slow down. Scrabbling for control. Hills and troughs of anger and grief and nothingness. Such deep nothingness, the world falling away but you are still standing. Inside is screaming but the outside doesn’t flinch. When the outside gives way to tears the inside is silenced and empty. They say that time is a healer but it moves all too slowly .
“Experience, that most brutal of teachers.But you learn, my God do you learn” – C.S. Lewis